Wednesday, 17 December 2014

entry 30

i am the asian to the right and my love is on the left
look at these awesome shoes man i'm so happy with them
photo-booth funtimes B)
the formal was held at our school in the citadel and i am/was completely okay with that (i think i preferred it to the beach, where it was supposed to be held)

it was actually... amazingly enjoyable. i honestly wasn't sure what to expect at first because it'd probably be just me sitting around while other people danced and i'd just be off to the side with my friends kinda bored, but that judgement was so wrong because dude, dancing was SO FUN like if anyone out there is having a sort of dance/social party thing goin' on, i recommend you to just let your body loose and just bop to the beat, y'feel? it's so fun when you get "lost in the music" sort of thang, and it was just amazing, so many compliments were given and so many were received, this really sweet asian - we can call her mychonny - she said i was beautiful and reminded her of ariana grande and osborne said he liked my dress and disney princess becca just... /shakes head at her it was really nice she told me i danced like a rockstar and she was just adorable and spouting compliments - it was all sorts of nice feelies, the whole couple of hours.

the food was GREAT it was like this sort of... really nicely seasoned chicken??? i swear i've tasted something similar to it before at my own house but i can't say for certain - it was a tangy, sour-ish taste but a beautiful flavour man, and pita bread and tabouleh and salad and a falafel and i still have no idea what the heckiedangle those things are made of so let me just--

Falafel (/fəˈlɑːfəl/Arabicفلافل‎, [fæˈlæːfɪl] ( )) is a deep-fried ball or patty made from ground chickpeasfava beans, or both. Falafel is a traditional Middle Eastern food, usually served in a pita, which acts as a pocket, or wrapped in a flatbread known as lafa; "falafel" also frequently refers to a wrapped sandwich that is prepared in this way. The falafel balls are topped with salads, pickled vegetableshot sauce, and drizzled with tahini-based sauces. Falafel balls may also be eaten alone as a snack or served as part of a meze (appetizers).
Falafel is a common dish eaten throughout the Middle East. The fritters are now found around the world as a replacement for meat and as a form of street food.

praise wiki


it was nice.

the photos before the actual formal was awesome because it was when you first saw everyone and when you walk along with your formal battle-armour on, you feel like a champion BD seriously, you feel great because you were all prettied up for this and it's a nice feeling, dressing up, despite the fact that dress shopping has to be one of satan's favourite hobbies because it sure as hell isn't one of mine more like after i got mine; every dress store i looked at, i looked at them as though they were summoned from the seventh circle of hell (it took me hours to find a dress that i thought i liked and even after buying it, i was just dead inside from having to spend so much time doing that when i could be playing dragon age or something) and i just fled at the sight of every clothes store after that and wanted it over and done with

anyway, the photos

that was when my excitement really picked up because everyone looked so beautiful and it was like yes aWESOME!!! I GET TO SPEND MY TIME WITH ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!!! IT'S GONNA BE SO FUN

and it WAS really fun, like, god, i would do it again

which i guess may be saying something because i thought i hated dances like this but this dance, this social/formal was so worth everything

and then came the after-party, which began at 11 and ended at 3 - my friends and i only stayed until 12:30

i got the award for most kawaii, and that was interesting

the ride to the after-party was pretty funny

za's mum was dropping us off and we were trying to find the location when we saw these shirtless dudes walking down the street heading towards somewhere and they were going to this house and za's mum was like hm well those boys can't be heading towards the party, i mean they're not part of your year are they

and za was just like ...... ha....ha...,,f, they are....

and we all just kinda looked at each other then and i felt this little tug of apprehension because ????? like okay then

the moment i entered the house there was that smell

alcohol, y'know? it was easy to guess there'd be alcohol but it was already so potent at the start of the party it was, well, not really surprising but yeah. my bro's part of the house (s'hard to explain but his room/computer room/toilet/lounge are located in this part of the house??) often smells like that when he has pre-drinks with his friends - just a note but my friends and i didn't drink anything, promise you that

my friends and i, after hanging around this lil tree that i was standing in front of which kept poking at my pits with its lil branches, headed towards a more secluded area - a garden - to just sit down and kinda maybe brANCH (huehue) off from the rowdy, drunk people who gathered more near the house

a few moments i remember have to do with osborne; we talked a bit near the bushes about the reports we got and stuff and that was cool and i'm kinda sure he was sober?? then we headed to the gardens and he came over with his friends and was like jesse u should mingle and i think i said something along the lines of nah man it's cool not very good at mingling but i also said something like 'too cool to hang with u soz bro' and he was like aw man my respect for u just went down jesse, i thought u were a nice funny chick but now i'm not so sure and i was like soz man i don't know what to say to that and he left and that was interesting but then i turned to my friends and kinda just furrowed my brows and was like, was he drunk?

that was possibly my first interaction with a drunk friend /nods

and then apad (we'll call him that) came over and well SUPER drunk but after a while of cautious conversation on my end, he began talking about how he regretted doing what he did and he asked me to make sure he didn't drink any more but then apologized for the serious talk and i just wanted to really reinforce how much i didn't mind talking to him even if he were drunk, but i'm not sure he got the message

anyway, i was worried for him during the party and once he asked me which way to get out of the gardens was safer - over the fence or up the stairs and we decided the stairs were safer and i offered to escort him up but he said no because he'd probs trip and take me down with him and i was just like... are... are you sure man?? like i really don't mind and he said it's okay and i just kinda pursed my lips and was like well, if you're sure... anyway, i was worried and i honestly really hope he's feeling okay right now and he's not in too much trouble

after that, random people came and went to talk to us / hang around and it was cool because i talked to a few people i never really talked to before

then, when we were leaving, osborne was like oh you guys are leaving? and we were like yeah and he was like oh and high fived me and was like it was fun dancing with u and the cookie and i was like yeah man, it was :D and it was cool

i only wish i remembered to check up on apad and say bye to him, but yeah!

the day was certainly jam-packed and a fascinating experience /nods

year 11 is on its way and iunno if i'm prepared

we'll see /wishes everyone luck in their schooling endeavours

also dragon age inquisition is heart-breaking and fantastic and wonderful and i've romanced cullen but like SOLAS.


SOLAS U EGG NERD I'M CRYING because his romance is so beautiful whereas cullen is the kinda typical cute kinda one?? but solas is all deep and it's V SAD and V PLOT-TWISTY AND MAN

inquisition is the best

i am a year eleven

have a beautiful day readers!!! i hope a stranger returns ur smile today or like smiles at u in a non-creepy way or like a smile... u smile... i hope u smile lots today :D

-jesse out B)

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

entry 29.5

so... this is just gonna be a tiny lil update bcoz dragon age inquisition is coming out tomorrow i can't even stress how excited i am god, my only worry is that my bro's graphic's card may not be able to handle inquisition graphics B( but also today was really awesome!!!

in pe, we had to do this netball assessment thing where basically it's not even netball, u just use a netball and there are two teams and your goal is to pass the ball to your teammates ten times without any outside interference -

okay, so, jude was in my team and also this really rad friend i made in src let's call her jasmine from aladdin because she looks like her and she's super cool


i was free and jude had the ball and well okay maybe i wasn't so free but this person was tryin' ta block me but i had kind of gotten out of their grasp, but anyway jude looked at me and then looked at jasmine and decided to pass it to jasmine but someone from the other team quickly hurried to intercept the ball so i grabbed it and the score hit 9 and then i passed it to jasmine and the score hit 10 and that was a point for our team


IT WAS REALLY COOL BECAUSE JUDE WAS LIKE oiiii nice jesse!! and highfived me and i was like so happy i grinned and high fived him back and it was so cool /sob

yeah that's it

i WILL write about japan soon





Monday, 17 November 2014

entry 29

so today i realised i was proud of myself :)))) (though i'm not proud of the fact that i haVE NOT RETOLD THE STORIES OF JAPAN BECAUSE THAT WAS LIKE THE BEST WEEKS OF MY LIFE AND I HAVEN'T BOTHERED TO WRITE ABOUT THEM??? when the holiday comes i swear to god i will write about it all, i'm gonna stick a post-it note to my toilet so every time i go take a dump it's staring at me and i get uncomfortable and inclined to actually do it)

and, well, it was interesting coz this is kind of a week of stress for me. i have this science presentation to wing, a pe dance to follow up on because i didn't get to do it before japan and now my pe teacher looks at me with this meaningful look that makes me nervous, i have a maths test on wednesday and a drama script to memorise seeing as i have this kind of main role as this kid called Billie who acts like a pirate - and this is for Youth Theatre and we're gonna go performing around random primary schools in a couple of weeks, so I SHOULD really get onto those...

and also dragO NAGEG INQUSITUINTON COMES OUT IN 3 DAYS /SCREAMS. 3 days could not be any longer, I swear. it's a kind of pleasurable pain, you know? ;v; /wistful sigh. so close yet so far.

but today i found out that i got the highest mark in my class for my japanese presentation and i was really happy, hehe. it was funny because during the presentation, i panicked and paused during my speech (it was this speech about a monster you have to make up - describing the monster's personality and appearance - i came up with this rabbit thing that had lots of legs and ate children after drinking orange juice at the park - like imagine this lil cute rabbit thang popping up from behind the bushes but as the bush trembles and it begins to reveal itself you get the feeling that something is horribly wrong and BAM THE LIL BUNNY HAS A THOUSAND SPIDER LEGS/ENEMONIE (sp????) LIKE LEGS AND CHILLS RUN DOWN YOUR BACK AND SUDDENLY IT NYOOMS TOWARDS YOU WITH LIGHTNING SPEED and ur ded

yeah that was my monster

but anyway i got nervous and me and my friends were talking about nervous habits one day and she said that i had the habit of jumping around/releasing my energy in that way and i was like ye and well that's what i did like i began jumping around and going "holD ON I KNOW THIS" and everyone laughed and i was happy that people laughed and well yeah that happened

and today we were given our marks and that dude jude was like sir who got the top mark and sir was like well.. no one..... but jesse got the highest at 19.5 and za was like did she lose half a mark because she started jumping and everyone laughed again and sir was like yes that (but it was because i paused) but hehe i'm okay with that!!!!

i've also been exercising and getting better at holding my times and extending the time on the treadmill - my highest that i can recount is going at 10km 3% incline for around 7 mins non-stop? and then my highest speed is 11km but at like either 5% incline or 2% but either way, i'm proud. I can also do push ups now with relative ease and i'm very happy, i just gotta learn how to do the triangle push-up things but yeah. i'm really happy.

i haven't been updating much and partly, that's due to so many things happening at the same time but you know, even the friendly-acquaintance stories - i used to be so "CRAP I HAVE TO UPDATE!! SOMETHING HAPPENED TODAY!!!" but y'see things like this have been happening so often that i haven't had time to update and that's an interesting thing to note, i reckon, hehe. i'll see what i can do about sharing them as they pop up though!!

also SRC CAMP:

this huge wall of text is a summary, good luck to anyone who'd even wanna read it all:


src camp was AMAZING!!!!!


01/11/2014 22:28
Omg... angel
not angel
anyone but angel haha
01/11/2014 22:29
yeah, claire called me up yesterday at

midnight and we talked and i researched

some things and we came up with ways to

go about comforting her
whaaaat angel is so cute!
01/11/2014 22:30
I'm glad she has people who she can

depend on. You guys are the best haha
she's an interesting character
did you get closer to the girl reps?
01/11/2014 22:30
yeah, and i'm really glad everyone in the

year is so caring!
i... i think i did............ it was



like at night we were all talking about

"girl stuff" you know and i was kinda

silent coz they all had their inside

jokes and i did admittedly feel kinda

like a third wheel and it was weird coz i

felt more comfortable with the guys than

the girls
01/11/2014 22:32
Yeah, I see what you mean
I should have said something to liz

asking to include you a bit more
Well at least you have made closer

01/11/2014 22:32
i ended up telling them about canoe guy

and they were telling me about their

experiences and stuff and they ended up

fangirling so hard about my story and

shiz and we all ended up talking about

how my group was kinda isolated and it

was really nice because they all were so

enthusiastic about wanting the other

people in the year to get to know my

group better
01/11/2014 22:33
hehe oh bri-chi you are just beautiful
we did warm and fuzzies
if you were there i think i would've run

out of paper with the things i have to

say B)))))))))))))))))
01/11/2014 22:35
i think one of the sweetest things that

was said to me on my warm and fuzzies was

how omoiyari said he truly considered me

a mate and that he was thankful for that

i was reading it on the way home and i

teared up and then when i got home i was

like you know i still have so many things

to say, my warm and fuzzy was kinda short

so let's write a lil letter thing
01/11/2014 22:35
so now i have a lil letter to give

omoiyari /nods coz there was that time in

japan when he asked me to help him with

his self intro and i felt so honoured and

that one time when i was in his intro

drama class and i told him he was like my

bro but didn't expand on it so i think he

got weirded out but in my letter i

explained what i meant
01/11/2014 22:36
so it's all g now /nods
also i became the src secretary
i have to take minutes and everything and

honestly it's pretty intense

01/11/2014 22:37
Omg, they all sound so nice QQ
like a beautiful family
you guys are all really close now and

that's so good
01/11/2014 22:38
yeah and MM tenshi and squiz was like

jesse u have to USE ur connections
01/11/2014 22:38
warm and fuzzies make me cry
aawww, and you and omoiyari
01/11/2014 22:39
and squiz was like ur friends with

brianna right and i was like yeah i love

bri and they were like USE HER and i was

like what?????????????? so heads up???? i

don't really know what they meant but

they said i had to exploit connections
01/11/2014 22:39
I'm sure he'd be touched by your letter
01/11/2014 22:39
!! AND the reason i went for secretary in

the first place
was because omoiyari actually said he

thought i'd make a good secretary
01/11/2014 22:39
omg...... use me...
Jesse Tran
01/11/2014 22:39
and told me about it and stuff and i was

really surprised
01/11/2014 22:39
u s  e m e
01/11/2014 22:39
yeah i was like...... what??? and they

were like use ikemen as well
and i was like ????????????????????
01/11/2014 22:40
u s e    m e hahahaa
i'm so proud of you QQ
Such a big job
01/11/2014 22:41
yeah, today i spent the day compiling the

minutes and i finished and i'm happy
deputybro is my lil deputy secretary bro

he's so cool man
01/11/2014 22:42
omg deputybro
he's so swag
and cool
and kool
and swag
01/11/2014 22:42
yeah, he played the guitar
we had a karaoke night
01/11/2014 22:42
do you have to do that every week?
did you sing
01/11/2014 22:43
yeah i do
yeah i did but it was group singing B)
although the camp was this huge

conference of ideas and there was just

so i think in the little meetings,

there'll be a tad less work to do
01/11/2014 22:45
aww, you should have gone solo
and awed everyone with your singing

did you get closer to dbunks and cbell?
01/11/2014 22:46
squizz was constantly hinting at it but

we all sang together anyway B)
01/11/2014 22:46
and did you share the 2 ply toilet paper

01/11/2014 22:46
yeah it was so cool!! ACTUALLY CBELL


01/11/2014 22:46
01/11/2014 22:46
apparently the src have been trying to

get two ply ever since
it's just never happened and it's not a

main priority so i guess we'll see what

happens LOL
01/11/2014 22:47
omg yasss my dreams are coming true
:< so sad
01/11/2014 22:47
LOL finally, you get to wipe ur butt with

silky smoothness
dw i may be able to smuggle some 2 ply

just for u
01/11/2014 22:47
thanks, that would be appreciated
and maybe some scented thingos in the

01/11/2014 22:47
i didn't talk to dbunks much but i defs

talked to cbell more and we sat next to

each other and it was pretty funny there

were jokes
his warm and fuzzie to me was also super

nice /sob
maybe some scented hand crafted soap
01/11/2014 22:48
made from goats milk
01/11/2014 22:49



and yeah that should be a summary and the names are censored like usual. hopefully. omoiyari told me the letter was beautiful and it was really funny hehe. and there's more to come later, but i should get ready for school tomorrow!

bye friends, i hope smiles light up all ur pretty faces and everything good happens to you!!


also i've introduced katie to oatmeal AND dragon age and she loves both /CACKLES MANIACALLY

ah, oatmeal <3

my friends ellie and claire made a bet i'd get sick of oatmeal by next year but i won't

just u guys see


Wednesday, 15 October 2014

entry 28

so this kinda just made my day, yeah:

Jesse Tran 18:15
today i SHIPPED ELLIE AND [SN] SO HARD Jesse Tran 18:15 Jesse Tran BASICALLY Jesse Tran 18:15 Jesse Tran ellie and ruby were sitting on the table and ruby was moving her legs up and down and [osborne] and [SN] were talking to each other and ellie was like ruby stop moving ur legs (coz it was shaking the table) and ruby kept doing it and then [SN] held out his leg to stop her and i was like /sob Jesse Tran 18:15 Jesse Tran i ship them so hard they were also sassing each other Brianna Nguyen 18:18 Brianna Nguyen Omg [SN] [osborne] is probably one of the nicest guys in the year Btw he voted for you Jesse Tran 18:42 Jesse Tran YES [SN] Brianna Nguyen 18:42 Brianna Nguyen never imagined tht couple Jesse Tran 18:42 Jesse Tran /SOB don't tell me these things i'm gonna cry because he's so nice THEY ARE ADORABLE TOGETHER THEIR SASS IS PERF and like i don't know who but ellie said she liked someone and claire ruby and i were just sobbing over how cute it was Brianna Nguyen 18:44 Brianna Nguyen Oh yeah she told us at harriet's party that she likes someone but she wouldn;t tell us who Jesse Tran 18:47 Jesse Tran yeah ;; Brianna Nguyen 18:47 Brianna Nguyen [osborne] said he's already friends with you btw Jesse Tran 18:48 Jesse Tran today we confirmed that she actually did like someone (because i wasn't there at haz's party) and she had this super cute smile on her face ;; Brianna Nguyen 18:48 Brianna Nguyen Omg seriouslyyy do you have any ideas Jesse Tran 18:50 Jesse Tran i whaT SERIOUSLY REALLY I WAS AFRAID TO CALL HIM A FRIEND BECAUSE I WASN't SURE /CRIES Brianna Nguyen 18:50 Brianna Nguyen hhaaha I asked him who he voted for and he's like "I voted jesse first because she's my friend and she's really nice to me" Jesse Tran 18:52 Jesse Tran today in drama it was pretty funny we messed up at this one bit like [osborne] had to carry one block and i had to carry the other but for some reason there was no blocks left for me to carry and i was like wth what is happening and [osborne] was like omg and i was like omg wait [osborne] is this your fault and he was like what no ruby got the other block and i was like omg ruby why and then i was like dammit [osborne] this is why we can't have nice things Jesse Tran 18:53 Jesse Tran BRI REALLY Jesse Tran 18:53 Jesse Tran /sCREECHES ALSO TODAY in english i had to steal a chair for chanse and i went to the other side of the room and stole a chair and asked the nearest person if it was okay and it was [osborne] and he was like omg i don't know i don't sit there and i was like tru soz bro and it was cool ;; Brianna Nguyen 18:53 Brianna Nguyen hahhaa [osborne] your new best friend? Jesse Tran 18:54 Jesse Tran sorry i'm just getting excited /rolls on you ooh i have no idea who ell likes though
LOL yes Brianna Nguyen 18:54 Brianna Nguyen dw [osborne] is a kool dude and he's so nice to [osborne's gf - we'll call her cookie junior!!] OOoo whoo Jesse Tran 18:55 Jesse Tran i'm so happy!!!! ;a; (AND THEY ARE ADORABLE I SHIP IT HARD) Brianna Nguyen 18:55 Brianna Nguyen hahahhaa a lot of people voted for you I can;t Jesse Tran 18:56 Jesse Tran but i'm shipping ell and sam so hard so that's a thing for me rn




SO, many things have happened since my last update and i should really remind myself to update sooner, because these events just keep pilin' up

i'll list some key events/stuff/thoughts here:

  • i'm in the src
  • i went to japan (aka my long-time dream)
  • in japan i made lots of new friends!!!!
  • i've started cooking
  • exercising has seriously become my new thang
  • 36 days until dragon age: inquisiton
  • i've become extremely inclined to make a resume and apply for a job
  • i got my subject selections for year 11 back
actually wait let me make a kind of list for the structure of this post
firstly, i'll talk about being in the src
secondly, i'll talk about japan and attempt to tell you all about my experiences (or that might be in an entirely separate post because there's sO much to write)
thirdly, i'll talk about exercising/cooking and job-hunting

aCTUALLY, YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA WRITE ABOUT JAPAN IN A DIFFERENT POST BECAUSE GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH STUFF I HAVE TO COVER (to give u teasers; joudan/sekushii dayo/ikemen/placenta/commander rolls/free cd/puns/okonomimura/hiroshima train trip/relay/:DDD/frozen/hatsune miku hat/etc = look at jap diary)


a few months ago i told someone they had a nice silhouette and they looked at me funny

a few days ago okay, so, i was putting on some shorts coz it was hot when i looked down and BAM like i was already wearing shorts??? AND IT WAS SO SURPRISING I ACTUALLY LET OUT THIS LITTLE EXCLAMATION OF SURPRISE AND I DOUBLE-CHECKED THE SHORTS IN MY HANDS AND I WAS LIKE DEAR BABY jeSUS ON WHEELS??? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??? HOW DID I FORGET I WAS ALREADY WEARING PANTS??????

i was a bit worried after that

21 Jumpstreet is such a good movie - me and my bro were discussing it and he agreed and was like "you have to be mature to laugh at its immaturity" and it's very true but despite all that, the witty one liners are amazing

today i went to an SRC meeting

and i'm still really grateful about being chosen but also feeling kinda hnggh because i see my friend, yas, who is just always putting herself out there and helping people - heck she even got the year award last year!! and like she's AMAZING and she didn't get onto the committee and she could've done so much and she would've been absolutely beautiful as an src and i just, i, i guess... i don't know.... how do i explain this feeling? i guess i just really want people to recognize her kindness and potential and beauty because otherwise it'd be such a waste

being chosen to become src made me think about a lot of things, like - could i handle it? would i even be a good representative? and i think i was a little overwhelmed when they announced who the src were because it was at that time that those thoughts hit me and i realised that i just volunteered to be on the src as an admittedly selfish act of wanting to get to know people? like, i wasn't really thinking about how i'd help out the school or if i actually had the dedication set aside time to deal with SRC responsibilities - don't get me wrong, i signed up for this and i'm passionate about wanting to help, honestly i want to do my best so bad and be a good src, but yeah - those were my thoughts. what i mean by "the selfishness of wanting to get to know people" is that technically, the desire of actually wanting to become an SRC member were influenced by the fact that all i wanted to do was be able to face the whole year and try to show them another side of me?

i think i have a thing where i constantly feel the need to prove myself in one way or another and this was one way i thought i could do that

if i sound conceited, or anything similar, i'm sorry

to summarize that lil wall of text, i think what i was conflicted about was whether or not i really deserved this spot

but i think i've gotten over that - what's done is done but also i know myself and i know that i'll really try to do my best

so, anyway, i went to an SRC meeting.

my third, to be exact :D

at first, i was kind of apprehensive because you see, there are 6 people on the src along with myself, representing our year: three are girls, three are boys. there's ikemen, bell -- have i mentioned him before?? i'm sure i have somewhere, but i can't seem to find him in my previous posts but hey oh well -- and dbunks. for girls, it's me, MM and squizza. obviously, all those names are not the real names of those alongside me in the src. there are also two regional reps from my year who are absolutely beautiful - omoiyari and tenshi - omoiyari is shoko's (my host sister!!) favourite word in japanese meaning a person who thinks about others and tenshi means angel. omoiyari is a dude, tenshi is a gal!

anyway, i was apprehensive because MM and squizza are both really good friends, ikemen is friends with them and bell, bell is friends with squizza and dbunks. dbunks is friends with squizza and MM and ikemen and bell and pretty much everyone, and well - everyone is connected in some way or another and are close, and then there's me who hasn't really interacted /properly/ with most of them at all, so i kind of felt 'ehhh....' like, well, y'know how it is, feeling a bit like a third wheel? - but i decided not to dwell on it because i knew it didn't matter and i was just overthinking/worrying too much again, and that i'd be able to come friends with them so long as i tried - and that's still my plan!!

the first two meetings were debriefs about what the SRC was about and what we'd be doing (we're going on a camp in week 4 - i have no idea what week it is right now tbh) but yeah, those were really cool and those actually were probably a tad more formal than what it was like today - i didn't talk much at those meetings: at the first one, the eight of us were all sitting apart, and the second one we did kind of sit together but we couldn't face each other well because we were kind of clumped --

but today!!

today was really fun!!!



it began with an explanation of a few of the main positions of SRC - those being chairperson, secretary, treasurer + more i can't really remember - and then it delved into a powerpoint about leadership and being in a group and what kind of group member you are - IDEA aka Imaginer/Designer/Evaluator/Act-er.

then, there was the little exercise called knots. it was really weird and it got uncomfortably intimate and my group didn't manage to get untangled but hey, at least we made progress B) it was really funny and cool hehe

anyway, i was sitting next to ikemen during the meeting and we exchanged some small talk/inside jokes and i felt a lot more comfortable with him there tbh because i hung out with him in japan and we were already friends (just not super friends, y'know? but friend friends!!) and i also managed to talk to the others and make them laugh and it was really nice

omoiyari and tenshi are the regional reps, as i stated before, and gosh they are just amazing - they were the ones who were showing us that powerpoint presentation and all throughout it, i was getting the feels because wow respect they are both such good people and hhhh

after the meeting, bell and i (we've spoken before briefly and he's an awesome person who at one point defended me in this group of gamers which i was added to WHICH mostly comprises of boys and those boys were like wait why's jesse in this group and bell defended me and it was really sweet and cool and well the gist of it is that he's cool) were waiting for omoiyari and tenshi to finish up -

i actually interacted a lot with omoiyari in japan and it was so cool, he's such a cool person as well WOW THERE'S SO MANY COOL PEOPLE HHH And well i helped him out with his self intro in japan and talked to him and made jokes (i remember one funny thing. basically, the luggage i brought to japan was my bro's and it was HUGE it was the biggest out of all the ones brought to japan and everyone was making jokes about how i was the smallest person in the entire group and i brought the largest suitcase and omoiyari was like jesse seriously i have to take a photo of you and that suitcase because this is hilarious and well we talked and it was so cool and fun and yeah!!). the amount of interaction i have with tenshi is limited, but she's really sweet and she's super friendly and she's gr8.

anyway, i was waiting for omoiyari and tenshi to finish talking to the teacher because they're in our english class and i was talking to bell and i told him about the story about my pants and he cracked up laughing and was like how do you even do that??? like couldn't you feel your pants??? and i was like YEAH dude I KNOW LIKE that's why it was so worrisome and then tenshi and omoiyari came out and omoiyari was like what's this? so i told the story again and omoiyari and tenshi laughed and omoiyari was like omg jesse that's classic and i was like hehehehehehe (translation: i'm so happy i can make u laugh like wow u guys are actually laughing and i'm talking to u guys and /sob this is SO cool) and then we all began talking and that's when bell went off to pee and so tenshi, omoiyari and i were walking to class and we were talking about the english homework and neither had submitted it when it was due but i already had and he was like wow jesse, ace student and i was like huehue yep, gonna get that a+ man and that led to omoiyari saying he thought i'd be a good secretary *with an added "just sayin'"* (previously, he talked about how he took up the position before and how it wasn't what he expected - there's not much talking and it's suited for people who are the listener type etc) and i was like I GOT FLUSTERED AND MY CHEEKS WENT WARM AND I WAS LIKE wasdwea dweLL u KNOW i think MM would be good for that position, i mean, she was saying she'd go for it 

and he looked at me and was like aw c'mon jesse, i think going for it would be really good and then tenshi was like yeah i agree and she began telling us a story about how she went up against some random people back when she was in src last year and how she got this spot and omoiyari was like yeah, and i think a lot of people - the ones who know you - would definitely back you up you know

and i don't know, i guess i was just really touched because i don't know, i guess that omoiyari even thought that and just how nice they were and they were just so welcoming and friendly and encouraging and warm? i don't know but gosh they were beautiful so i ended up trying to return the favour and tell them what i thought about them (what i wrote about earlier, how tenshi was an angel and how omoiyari was just really cool and how i had reSPECT for both of them like heck yeah!!) and they laughed and tenshi told me how she was actually nervous going up and speaking and i was like what seriously?? like i didn't even notice

and well

it was awesome

i'm so happy to be in the src and to get to know these beautiful people and i'm looking forward to spending more time with them hehe

change of topic

and apparently, change of font??? sorry the font suddenly changed because i pressed enter twice and idk

anyway, cooking. ever since coming back from japan, i just had an intense urge to catch up on all the exercise i couldn't do and cooking was one good way to control what i ate and it's level of healthiness - and thus, i have been cooking. :D


sheisse what the heckiedoodle why is the font changing??


oh well

exercising is amazing

i have to exercise soon

but i've been really happy with myself man, maybe after i exercise i'll take a photo of my ABS HECK YEAH and just post a wip shot or something iunno i'm just excited

as a record for myself:

as of 15/10/14, i can run approx 4km in a span on 30 minutes, at an average of 9km/h - lowest point being 8km (starting point til 10 min milestone) and highest being 10km (last 4 minutes).

i can do 200 hanging leg raises - 10 sets of 20 or 8 sets of 20 and 2 sets of ten
i can do 3 reps of 20 full decline sit-ups + 20 russian twists, both with a 5kg weight

and of course there are those other lil workouts i have at home but yeah those are what i tend to do at the gym, which i go to now with my bro


oatmeal is still really yummy

everyone i'm gonna give u my recipe that accounts to approx 540 calories

so cook as much oats as u want (i use 4 - 5 tablespoons of oats)

when it's finished, add:
11 almonds
20 raisins
half an apple
3 tablespoons of greek yoghurt
and whatever sugar you want although i recommend coconut sugar or brown sugar or no sugar at all (keep in mind that greek yoghurt is sour tho)

and yeah that's the recipe, just mix it together and voila you've made heaven


i've been writing for an hour straight, no kidding so maybe later i'll come back with more updates

so bye for now!!!

i hope you guys have a wonderful day! :D

and everything about this post is a mess i mean look at its godforsaken format holy crapplesnack i don't know what's happening goodbye

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

entry 27.5


How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.
-Nina LaCour, Hold Still (I have no idea what Hold Still is but it sounds RAD)


in science one day, when doing an experiment, ellie told me to go get a towel to clean our bench and the only towel in my towel radar was located at a friendly acquaintance's bench: SN. SN's really cool btw!! so i saluted ellie and headed off on an adventure to retrieve the towel.

i dodged many tables and villianous chairs along the way and finally came upon my goal, so i asked sam, "hey dude can i steal your towel?"

after a heart-stopping moment of tension, he answered, "yes."

so i stole it and begun my journey home.

then, his friend the blue-eyed white dragon (for future reference jess, his name starts with an A and he has piercing eyes, hence his yugioh nickname) was like: "you can't just steal a towel, geez"

and i looked back and laughed in his face, galloping home.

okay, well, i looked back and smiled and was like huehuehue too bad and went back to my bench where an ellie was waiting. so yeah. that was pretty cool!!

goodbye friends!! i missed a post last month so hopefully i end up posting more often from now on :D

entry 27

INFJ Description

by Marina Margaret Heiss and Joe Butt
INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.
INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.
Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).
This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.
Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.
In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.
Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life.Those who are activists - INFJs gravitate toward such a role - are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.
INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden.They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress.INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless.The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.
"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led.These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time.Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.
INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.
Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.
(INFJ stands for Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging and represents individual's preferences in four dimensions characterising personality type, according to Jung's and Briggs Myers' theories of personality type.)
hell yeah!!



how long has it been since i last posted? two months yeah? LOTS HAS HAPPENED IN THOSE TWO MONTHS.

well, to me. nothing REALLY big in my life, but just... awesome things. for example, dragon age: inquisition. I AM SO PUMPED. IN THE TIME I'VE BEEN AWAY, I'VE BEEN GETTING OBSESSED WITH GAMES: E.G DRAGON AGE, MASS EFFECT AND i'm crying DRAGON AGE ASUNDER - which is a novel stemming from the Dragon Age world/gaming franchise - IS SO DAMN GOOD here have one of my favourite parts:

"Is that what I do? Torment you?"
Haunted eyes. "Yes. No."
Rhys reached up to touch Cole, to reassure him, but the young man only scrambled farther up the sarcophagus. "Leave me alone," he muttered, although it didn't sound convincing.
"Is that what you really want me to do?"
"Cole, come with me (etc, Rhys begins to talk about Cole/more dragon age stuff)"
"Don't you want help?" he asked.
"I don't want anyone to hurt me." Cole was a grown man, but this was the frightened plea of a child. Rhys stood there for a long time, staring helplessly up at him.
"You could leave, you know. You don't have to stay in the tower like I do."
"Where would I go?
Rhys didn't have a good  answer for that. Nowhere. Anywhere but here. If I were you I would walk pat those templars, leave the tower, and go somewhere they could never find me. But he wasn't Cole. The young man avoided the upper floors of the tower because people frightened him. The city outside the tower was an impossibility, so terrifying in its chaos that he probably couldn't even imagine it. And what sort of life would that be, watching a world bursting full of excitement in which you could only be a spectator?

Cole is my child and i'll always be so sad for him. Rhys and Cole will forever be my brotp /decisive nod.

and i even made a tumblr for DA/ME: unto-starfang.

okay, so, straying from that topic...

my birthday, right, that's what i have to cover.

i felt really loved. like, it was just a huge realisation of how much i adored my friends and how much i felt special that day, whiiich is okay to say because it was my birthday party B)

the snacks were hella rad and we watched the Conjuring. lemme tell you, everyone screamed and i just laughed. when the scenes started to crescendo into actual horror i began smiling and joy glanced at me and was like, "jesse omg your face right now is terrifying" and i was just like "heh,,heHEhe YES GOOD LET THE TERROR BEGIN" and it was AMAZING. too bad COOKIE and HAZZA missed out on it B(

hm so let me freshen you guys up on the deets:

there is a new principal at my school, katie has almost gotten a boyfie: a boy who she ACTUALLY tried to set up with me so that is one amusing twist of fate, HELL yeah claire u go girl, bri i'm crying forever because OTP, i've maDE FURTHER FRIENDS WITH this girl let's call her cinnamon coz i heard her being called that today at leadership training and jamilla has previously stated that she is a girl who is the equivalent to me but in another group, and we get along pretty well hehe, also, here's what i sent to a cookie:

"as u can tell i've gotten over canoe guy, it's funny coz i'm grateful to him but also i'm apprehensive of him for no reason now, maybe apprehensive is too caustic a word but in science the other day he popped up behind me when me and claire were measuring some stuff and i kind of realised this and moved to the other side away from him without realising and i'm pretty sure he noticed it and then i noticed it and we made weird eye contact and i was just thinking i am SO sorry for putting you into this position man"

and that pretty much sums up my *love life* wow, right now :D

i'm happy where i am and i'm glad i can say that.

/many days go past

KATIE HAS A BOYFRIEND AND SHE KISSED HIM AND SHE TOLD ME ABOUT IT AND IT WAS SO CUTE AND WHEN SHE DESCRIBED IT I WAS SOBBING BECAUSE seriously she described it just as if it were fanfiction and i'm so happy for her


but also i got an exchange student and she became a very close sister of mine in the span of 10 days


you guys should know who fish is, just go back in the 'canoe guy' tags and /shudders UGH


i'll tell you lil stories and then get to the big ones, i guess /nods

in youth theatre (i think i've mentioned it before but just to refresh people: it's a class where you form a play and then go around performing it to little kids in primary schools), we've been getting into little groups for a major project which is to appropriate a disney song and perform it for the class. there are 3 - 4 people per group and basically, there's an uneven amount of friends in this class. so, ellie, ruby and i were separated into a three and we needed one more person - and there were people away that day so a person called... let's call him harry osborne from amazing spiderman because he looks like that actor - so osborne here right, he was put into our group and at the very beginning i had this prominent feeling of dread crawling through me because not only would we be separating him from his friends, he'd have to do the thing with us and it's a HUGE project. and to do well on this project, you have to work together really well. so-- you'll see what i'm about to talk about --that was my main motivation.

the first lesson we had together it was extremely awkward jesus christ; we were deciding the roles we were going to play and we asked osborne what he'd like to be, and he replied in this offhand tone: "oh i don't really mind, i'll do whatever" - maybe offhand isn't the correct word to describe it, but it was really nonchalant and i was like ah.. i see... and my friends and i just exchanged these glances and i'm pretty sure we all thought 'this is going to be difficult' because when you do a thing like that, it doesn't leave much room for conversation, or actually help the decision-making process and you don't want to make the person do anything they don't want to do but too afraid to say they don't - feel me?

we left the class that lesson and i was just groaning away because i had no idea how this was going to work out and could only hope the ice broke.

next lesson, we were forced outside because the HSC trials were on inside our usual classroom.

it was fairly awkward this time around. and by fairly awkward, i mean, still pretty damn awkward. after figuring out some stuff, talking briefly to osborne and distracting ourself with small talk (while osborne sat on the sidelines, looking longingly off into the distance [from my own observation, ofc]), the final ten minutes soon appeared and we were all sitting in silence. during the tiny conversations earlier, i'd been smiling awkwardly in the terse pauses because of how uncomfortable we all were, and i think osborne saw me doing that because he had this awkward-ish smile on as well /shudders.

spurring from a conversation from a previous friend (as i said, i was groaning away about how sdfghj it was and just hhhhggghh), i turned to osborne and said: "SoooOOOoooo, how's _______?" and this _______ is his girlfriend and that might've made things all the more awkward for him because his eyes were wide and his mouth hung and this sound came out from him: "Uhh..."

hurriedly, i waved my hands around and began talking about how i knew his girlfriend because of friends (which were friends with him) to try and justify my question but honestly it was spur of the moment and i was trying to get him to talk more and feel comfortable - i guess it didn't help because my other friends were having this bout of small-talk and i was just looking between them and osborne and cringing because it wasn't really a good sign.

anyway, he laughed awkwardly and said "She's good," and i don't even know if they're still together but i hope they are (they're adorable and i have this kind of thing for interracial couples, don't even ask man it's just really cute not that other couples aren't cute but sorry if this offends anyone or if it does something because i just-) because otherwise that'd be SUPER awkward.


what was good was that he actually started talking more after that and i felt happy. i honestly didn't feel that flustered when i asked that question because i expected that kind of reply - and when he said 'she's good', my other friends started laughing and were like 'wow jesse, way to break the ice' and one cracked a joke - the polar bear one, as an example and he laughed and we began talking about our project a bit more and it was rad.

the next lesson, shoko (my lovely exchange student//sister from japan) was with me in YTH and i came in a bit late, so when i got there, ruby and ellie were standing around for a bit and we met up with osborne (who had been talking to this guy i ship with ellie - let's call him SN) and we were going to sit down, before i suggested that we should sit on the other side of the room. ellie asked why and i was like, iunno man we just should - the reason was because SN was on that side and osborne is friends with him so i thought if our groups were sitting a bit closer together, it'd be good for osborne because maybe it'd ease the tension for him a bit, to be near a friend.

in the beginning of the period, i spent my time entertaining shoko and her friends by explaining what my group was doing and i also gave her some ideas on how to spend the lesson - i showed shoko panic at the disco and she liked their music so i gave her my ipod so she could show the music to her friends. i also gave her my script so she could look at that and ellie allowed them to listen to the song on her phone. after that, they went to their own devices (shoko told me they were translating the panic at the disco song, ballad of mona lisa). then, ellie assigned costume design and make-up to osborne and i and we worked on that for a bit. ruby and ellie worked on the stage design. that was okay, it was a short-ish lesson and although it was still a bit tense, things were better.

the next lesson, however! we went outside to practice the actual scene and jesus that was actually so fun! it was nice because osborne began contributing stuff and more jokes were made and it's nice talking to him, he's a hella cool dude and it's super fun because we all get along!! :D i think, in this lesson roles were assigned and osborne was ed, ruby was banzai, scar was ellie and i became shenzi - anyway, in a small moment of silence, i said to osborne, "so, you're okay with being ed?" and he was like "oh y-" but i grinned and said, "or did ellie and ruby kind of just assign ed to you?" and he cracked a grin and laughed and was like "yeah, pretty much," and i laughed as well and in my head i was like 'dw i feel u brother'. it's winter in australia now and it's insanely cold, and osborne didn't have his jacket so i reminded him to bring his jacket for next time and he was like yeah that DOES sound like a good idea.

and then the next lesson was hella rad too omg though i came into the class and straight away, the teacher (as i'm told) was like: 'oooooh yeah lol so today i'm gonna film 30 seconds of a scene so u better be ready' and we practiced for that and that great, we got stuff done! the thing about drama is that you really need to let go if you want to actually embody a character - especially ones with strong personalities and quirks, so i hope i can get that right in the future, but it was funny because osborne's ed and he has to do this weird laugh and one of the first times he did this extra weird laugh and i began laughing and we were all laughing and it was sick (or siq, i'm told, which is how the cool kids spell it).

the second recent lesson was a really short lesson where we had to block out the other scenes of our song and i was given some a few tips from the parkour master osborne and more jokes were made and i'm sure if i'd written this earlier, my memory would be fresh and i'd be able to describe things truer than how i'm currently describing them, but near the end of the lesson i accidentally brought a stick in (previously used as a flimsy paperweight) and i was like oh crap osborne can you throw this out for me and he did and i was like thanks dude ur platinum.


so we had a double lesson to do stuff and we were mostly just rehearsing but i commented on a few things and it was cool coz we laughed and after that, i suggested some ideas to ellie and she was looking dubious because we didn't have much time, but i kept saying it was just something small that we could put in-- and then osborne backed me up and was like 'no yeah that's a good idea, it'll add characterisation' and i was like o.o because he said what i wanted to say and i was like ayyyye!!! and i held out my hand and we high fived and it made this really clear sound and he was like that was a good high five and i was like hELL YEAH

so, today, ruby mentioned something about how weird it is that in some classes you talk to people you never really knew before but then after them you never talk again and admittedly that made me a bit sad, hehe

also i've been saying 'good job' after our drama lessons as a way to say goodbye because we didn't really acknowledge each other at at the end, we just kind of... went our separate ways and it was like 'well okay' and you know how friends say bye to each other after the period ends and we all go home or go to lunch or just separate? yeah, well i've been doing that because that way it feels more like we're all friends.

obviously, i'd love to become friends with him!

also, in japanese the other day, i was away on an excursion with the other hosts (hosting japanese exchange students) and i came back to class and all the people away were assigned to people who were there that day, and i got assigned to this dude, we'll call him AP because initials. he was a really good teacher! and he was actually really easy to talk to, we laughed a few times and i'd also love to get to know him as well. tbh i can't remember that much as it was quite a few weeks ago.

so about my exchange student!!

it was really nice. it seriously felt like i had a sister for 10 days - a twin sister, although maybe the fact that she had the same birthday as i do and the same interests and favourite anime (though she liked seafood and i really don't /shudders) had something to do with it. the first day was a tad awkward but after i taught her the words for butt and fart, it was amazing and my family loved her - we had amazing dinners everyday and my dad approved of her because she ate seafood.

i remember one time, everyone was eating prawns (i had chicken) and shoko didn't know how to peel them as it was her first time ever having them, so my dad shook his head and peeled a few prawns for her but gave her his as he peeled them - and that's really something, because my dad never does that for anyone except me coz i'm his daughter and all - but he doesn't even do that for my bro when he's struggling and it was a very nice gesture and after that i was like: i'm proud of ya dad B)

we played cluedo on one of the days and SHE SMASHED US ALL AND also my bro, my cousin and i were all impressed because she picked up on the game really quickly and understood the instructions - shoko was so eager to learn and bright and easy to talk to - anyway, she won on the first round and it was intense. don't be tricked by innocent-looking people, lemme tell u.

my family keeps asking, "do you miss her jesse?" and like, yeah, of course i do - her presence was nice and all - but not in the way that 'aw pleaaaasse come back i miss u so much ;;', more like... i'm very happy to have had the experience with you and you're my sis now y'know? so i just hope lots of good things happen to you and you finish watching kuragehime and you sharpen up your cluedo skills coz next time we meet i'm so gonna beat you B) u WON'T FOOL ME WITH UR TRICKERY SHOKO


it was nice preparing recess and lunch for her, and having green tea with her every morning and exercising everyday omg it was so funny because we were doing some ab work and shoko was struggling and my cousin said something funny and we all started laughing and it was hard to breathe

the first day she met my dad, all he said was: if u don't want to sleep in a room with jesse, jesse can sleep in a car outside

and she looked to me for an explanation

and i looked at dad, all deadpan and said: dad no

and he cackled.


on the last night, we spent how many hours talking about random things (girl talk tbh) and she told me lots about her life in japan and i told her some stories and we laughed a lot. my mum actually referred to both of us as her daughters and also my dad referred to shoko as his adopted daughter when he told me to make tea for her. when shoko and i were talking, she brought up how i call my brother 'bro' and asked me to call her 'sis' and that just about melted my heart right then and there, my face was pretty much this: ;; also pretty sure my bro had this lil crush on her because she was so cute (when she caught her first fish her face did that thing where it lit up and she had this habit of clapping when things excited her and she was adorable).

also i finished the japanese diary cover for japan (did i ever mention that i was given that job?)!!

well, regardless, this happened:


there was this whole thing with the front cover (the second image) and what you're seeing right now is the second version of the actual front cover that jamilla drew. basically, yesterday during SRC NOMINATIONS (i'll tell u about that soon, jesus there's so much to cover) - my jap teacher pulled me out of the meeting. he faced me and said, "okay, jesse, there's been a problem."

REALLY HESITANTLY, i replied, "alright... what... is it?"

he paced for a few moments, and then sat down.

and explained stuff about jamilla's cover and how the company to create the diaries messaged him and said 'are you sure you want to put this on the front cover? it's a bit messy' - and by messy, i mean, firstly - jamilla drew the cover in pencil and there were pencil markings. secondly, there was a torn corner.

so, sir said: "[the head languages teacher] and i were thinking that maybe you could pull 11 chibis from the back cover (31 people are going to japan) and put it on the front cover and just write, really quickly in some fancy font, 'japanese study tour'?"

frowning, i thought for a bit, before suggesting, "maybe you should talk to jamilla first..."

and he agreed, so he pulled jamilla out too and we talked for a bit.

he explained the same thing to jamilla and at one point, i suggested that maybe if jam had the drawing, i could scan it and fix it up on my computer but she shook her head and said that wasn't possible because it was still with the company. so then i said maybe she could come over my house in the next few days to draw it on my computer so it'd be blemish free but that wasn't possible because it had to be due in immediately the next day.

it was incredibly obvious that jamilla was disappointed. all the while, i'd been thinking: wow this must suck so bad for jamilla - to have all that effort go to nothing AND have her partner take over and take all the credit.

i was angry, to be completely honest.

and anyway, jamilla had to go on her bus so she said goodbye and that 'it couldn't be helped' and my teacher asked if it was okay with me to do it, so of course i said yes.

but then i had an idea.

as soon as i got home, i tried calling jamilla and it took an hour later for her to actually pick-up and when she did, i said to her: "jam, get on facebook right now. i have an idea."

so, she got on facebook and i told her the idea. i was going to do the chibi thing on the front page BUT i would try to copy her exact drawing and put it in the front cover as well - so it'd be her design still. i wanted to capture the essence of the artwork she drew.

her reaction was just... it made me really happy!! because she was so happy and she asked me if i was sure i wanted to do it for her and i was like dude, we're partners til the end. and she said she was actually crying and i was just like omg jamilla shhhh it's okay you're my motivation for this i can't really do this without you so /shimmyshrug genki o dashite yo senpai

but yeah. it was really draining - it took three hours - but it was worth it to see her happy.

and today she presented me with these:

and hey, i'm not complaining that much because free stuff B) but i was a bit unsure of whether to accept the notepad or not because she didn't need to give me anything (i'm love cards!!) but apparently it was her parent's idea so that's okay i guess

but honestly, i am so done with drawing right now.

this summarises my feelings towards it, and i will say goodbye with this because i can't seem to write stuff underneath it /deep sighing.


so src nominations it's THAT time of the year again friends and trust me when i say i'm not as dramatic as i was last year (in fact i'm cringing at how much of a big deal it was and how much i took not getting the position to heart). i was talking to ruby about it last night and she said this: "it's good to cringe at your past self, it's how you know you've improved" and it's a nice message so there.

for my src speech this year, guess what i did /wiggles eyebrows


that's RIGHT.


well, aimed at everyone.

i was thinking about it last-minute at lunch and here's how it went:

"so.. on a scale of one to ten, you're all nines and i'm the one you need," -insert cheesy gesture towards self and grin-



and it was pretty cool even though i'm a huge ball of cliche. i SERIOUSLY FORGOT TO ADD A TUMBLR DISCLAIMER LIKE NO I AM NOT THAT ORIGINAL I DID NOT MAKE THAT PICK-UP LINE but yeah. after that i said, "no really though, i'd love this opportunity to get to know all of you and i'd love to hear you id--ideas." (i stuttered /sigh).


it was cool!

and this time i know for a fact i won't be sad if i don't get the position (it's a huge responsibility tbh and i don't know if i'll be able to handle it but i'll certainly try if i do get it) because everyone who nominated that day were very worthy and it was so hard choose who to vote for


i'm very happy with how i am now.

in pe we got a bunch of.... wow, i'm actually so not finished, let me take another photo of it:




you know the gist.

or well, yeah, nevermind dudes.

for one person, i wrote 'you have great legs' (along with other things of course), and he actually ended up sitting next to me in class as a coincidence and he began talking about how it was such a great thing to write and he read it out (i said he was actually a really nice *right after this i wrote, 'well, when you want to be' and funny dude) and said that the leg thing didn't even sound bad, it sounded like someone wrote it nicely and zara was just nudging me in the side going jesse u wrote that right and i was like well yeah i wrote a lot of things to a lot of people and this is the same guy who came up to me at bush school - the renowned 'jerk' type dude who complimented my group on how we sang royals - and for sake of anonymity (though you'll find his name if you go back to entry 19) i'll call him ham - but anyway, ham looked at my writing and i looked at him and i was like yeah i wrote that and he smiled and was like thank you so much and i was like no probs bro

this comes into play later, but okay

during the SRC thing MY COOKIE OF A FRIEND BRIANNA I'M CRYING SHE LEANED OVER AND SAID SHE VOTED FOR ME AND I WAS SERIOUSLY STUNNED FOR A MOMENT MY MOUTH WAS HANGING BECAUSE BRI IS SUCH A COOKIE YOU KNOW?? AND I WAS SO SURPRISED and i think i almost teared up but i also felt really happy and touched and it was like wow, bri-chi voted for me?? it just made me really happy i'll probs define the src nominations by that moment (and in that moment i swear we were infinte), because all i could say was 'briiiiiiiiii' and she mimicked me and i was like ;; i miss you so much come hug me please

and well, there goes my ego look at it fly B) thank u bri-chi u sure know how to fluff one's pillows

but also today in pe, ham looked at me and was like jesse i voted for you because you said i had great legs a few days ago and i was like oh my god LOL thank you dude and he was like no problem


that is all i can say

and i'll leave you with this!! because i can't seem to write anything underneath it. B(

see ya friends, and i hope you're as happy as i am right now. be safe!

me after drawing for 3 hours straight:

What are you on about mate
What about mother nature
i'm on such a drawing break right now
about fixing the font
ugh i'm tIRED
if someone asks me to draw anything else and i HAVE to
I'm so proud of you
You've worked so hard on this
i will exercise the stress away
and i will have a shower
Go to sleep
and eat dinner
You need it
i ahven't had dinner tho
claire r u trying to starve me
Eat dinner then go to sleeo
You don't need to exercise today
i have to shower today B))))
and before showers i exercise B))))
Shower in the morning
it will be a respite from the constant drawing my hand actually hurts
that's so far away
Just try it B)
thank u claire-bear
that is not the jesse way